"These go to 11," explains Spinal Tap's guitarist Nigel Tufnel indicating the controls on his amplifier. "One louder" is the hapless Tufnel's aim, and so, it seems in the wake of fans' disappointment at the volume of the new Formula One powertrains, it is for Bernie Ecclestone. His concerns are shared by leading figures in motor sport but solutions remain far from clearcut.
Ecclestone, who said he was "horrified" by the lack of noise in Australia, has been vocal in his condemnation, adding "these cars don't sound like racing cars", and that changes would have to be made, saying of the engine manufacturers: "they made them quiet, now they can make them loud again". For a long time, Ecclestone has expressed disquiet at the introduction of turbocharged V6 engines with energy recovery (ERS) units instead of V8s. Understandably perhaps, since he has a good historical perspective on how they would sound, running Brabham in 1983 when Nelson Piquet took F1's first world championship powered by a turbocharged engine.
Equally, the Australian Grand Prix promoter, Ron Walker, has also been critical, warning before this weekend's race in Malaysia of promoters dropping out of F1 and the lack of noise threatening to "kill the golden goose". His closeness to Ecclestone, however, suggests there is an element of hyperbole and politics to his protestations.
This is a charge that cannot be levelled at the only man to have won the world championship on two and four wheels, John Surtees. "The sound was what I feared from previous knowledge of turbos," he said. "From the entertainment point of view, something is missing."
Surtees, who was speaking at the launch for the Goodwood Festival of Speed, where he will take to the track in the original Ferrari 158 in which he won the F1 title 50 years ago when cars of four, six, eight and 12 cylinders all competed at once, was concerned the sport would now fail to connect with fans. "With the eight cylinders, when you heard them all go off the line there was an emotional factor created, emotion in the crowd. With a rather flat-sounding car you remove some of that emotion and motorsport, as with most sports, is all about creating emotion."
His opinions were echoed by fellow veteran Sir Stirling Moss. "I would have thought fans will be put off, Formula One is supposed to be the No1 formula but it's not the same now," he said. "You need the noise to get the excitement. There should be colour and noise and the smell of oil – all those things that go into making a race a good one."
Concerns not lost on Derek Warwick, the president of the British Racing Drivers' Club that owns Silverstone and hosts the British Grand Prix. A large part of his career was during F1's first period of turbocharged cars; indeed he drove Arrows to their best championship position of fifth in 1988 with the same rebadged BMW turbo engine that had powered Ecclestone's Brabhams.
"They have a problem and it's called noise," he said. "Part of the spectacle has to be the noise. You lose that sense of speed when you don't get the sound."
"The sound is so important to the spectator, it's what brings them year after year, it's what makes us turn up the volume on the TV, it's what makes us feel that these guys are gladiators because the sound is such an important part of the feeling of excitement and speed."
The show is suffering is the argument but the fastest cars at the Le Mans 24 Hours of recent years have also been the quietest – the diesel-hybrids of Audi – and that race's popularity is only growing. Equally, the powertrain change has not been a zero-sum game. The new units have (alongside the lack of volume and the reduction in aerodynamic downforce) also delivered cars that are much harder to drive and more entertaining to watch. The much steeper torque curve and relative lack of grip tests drivers' abilities far more so than in recent years – something F1 fans have long-demanded – and the visual spectacle is all the better for it. "I can totally understand why some people felt shocked by the lack of noise and in many ways disappointed," said the former F1 driver Anthony Davidson, "but a lion is no less impressive when it's not roaring. This is still an F1 car travelling at high speed and arguably harder to drive than it has been in the last 15 to 20 years, that's the thing I appreciate."
A return to really testing the drivers that Warwick also acknowledges will be key, despite his reservations over the volume. "These cars are more difficult to drive and we're going to see a massive difference between the good drivers and the average drivers," he said. A difference that also gave him cause for optimism.
"The cars are interesting, exciting, I thought they looked fantastic on the circuit," he added. "We haven't got the boring Scalextric cars from the last three or four years, these are mighty cars that need racing drivers to master them. That's good for F1, ultimately it will be good for spectators and viewers."
And it is the latter categories, if to their chagrin only indirectly, who are at the heart of this debate. For the sport's owners, CVC, the entertainment value of F1 translates directly into earnings through TV rights sales and circuits bidding to hold races. Any potential diminishment of that value must thus be addressed – hence Ecclestone as the vanguard of the potential counter-revolution against quieter cars. But, what, as Vladimir Ilyich had it, is to be done?
Tellingly, the teams have generally not wanted to engage with the question of whether changes can actually be made, either reluctant to discuss the issue or pointing out the positive aspects of the new powertrains and their relevance to the engine manufacturing industry (the shift to a "greener" engine was key for Renault and a factor in Honda returning next year), while emphasising that, only one race into the season, their focus has to be on getting the most from the units as they are. Put simply, they are not keen on entering a debate over something they believe will not happen.
And it seems almost certain it will not. The lower volume is largely a factor of the turbocharger and ERS absorbing the noise, and the engine units for 2014 are homologated and cannot be changed. Even adjustments to the exhausts would make little difference – most of those sought-after decibels have already long gone.
"It's not going to happen this year for sure," said Sam Collins, the deputy editor of Racecar Engineering magazine. "And I'm almost certain it's not going to happen at all."
Even a redevelopment for the near future is unlikely. "For 2015 all of the engines will be heavily redeveloped anyway, so arguably you could do something within that rule structure. But even then, the concept of these engines means it's quite difficult to redesign them to make them louder because you have the turbo sucking all the noise out," he argued. "So you would have to go for a complete rulebook change and that would take two or three years to introduce and would be hugely expensive and basically teams would stamp their feet and say 'no'".
No solutions then? Well maybe not in the garage but for the majority of the audience watching on TV, Collins, who loves the sound of the new cars, suggests "putting the microphones closer to the track, that would make a huge difference".
Which means we had best learn to enjoy F1 2014 as it is (and it really should be better to watch, at least, than it has been for years) because, despite the sound and fury of Ecclestone's pronouncements, the only option appears to be the motor racing equivalent of an amp that goes up to 11.
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